For a while, I pseudo-dated a girl who lives in another country. Nothing was ever defined in terms of labeling the situation, though I find her to be a fantastic person and vice-versa. For a while, it was good, but entering into a long distance relationship wasn’t something I was ready for. And continuing on with our current back and forth was doing more harm to both of us than good. She rarely comes to NYC, but she did this week. She asked to hang out and I lied about being out of town, so as not to fall back into our comfortable cycle and hurting us both even further. After coming to my apartment unannounced to catch me in my lie, I kicked her out. I met her for a chat today in order for both of us to gain some closure. After the chat, Hercules and I got real about the situation.
Hercules: When is The Talk?
Me: Just ended. Man. She looked so sad. I feel like I’m doing the wrong thing. Gah.
Hercules: What would the right thing be?
Me: I have no idea. She claims just to want a night out with drinks and dancing. She wants to be friends. But can’t articulate what that means to her.
Me: The irony is so biting. I’m lonely. All I want is a girlfriend. Here is a girl who is literally willing to worship the ground I walk on, but I’m turning her down.